Death isn’t for everyone: 2.22.13 Part III

Please read Part One and Two to Understand the Importance of this entry!  Happy Holidays to all my friends!

Part III of 22 February 2013

Prior to Tuesday morning, my primary interest over the last few months consisted of diving further and further into how to develop my Higher Self, whether it be through learning importance of the Chakra System, Universal Laws, numerology, pineal gland studies, healing crystals and gemstones and most recently interpreting but more importantly: believing my dreams.

My current state of metaphysical connection as well as validity of my dreams is in much thanks to my friend Lyndell, whom I will introduce in greater detail shortly. The movement from my dreams being pure “coincidence or strange events” has moved to serious interest and analysis after the third and final break up with whom I thought was the love of my life the day before Thanksgiving 2012.  Until then  I had convinced myself that I was happy as a lamb trotting on the right path, doing the right things, and that everything was going better than well.

I can now say that I know better, but I was not being honest with myself which I can now finally admit. The love I had for him may have been real, my intentions for him were pure, my drive and strong efforts for a never-ending relationship were as genuine as genuine can be, but I had put myself and my WHOLE self on the back burner. I will admit, he did tell me to “worry about yourself” however it was said in a way which I interpreted as “leave me alone.” I eventually took his advice and did just that.

The Universe has a plan.  I left Canton where I had been living with him for the last 2 and a half months (together this time about 10 months and together a year and a half total) and moved myself back to my happy little hippie town of Highland Square in Akron, Ohio… Home sweet home. I was surprised how ready and excited I was to jump into a life with my son as much as he was.

***

I have always had an interest in spirituality, although I haven’t dabbled far into the topic probably because I have had no one in my life to help guide nor even truly be as interested as myself in this topic; that is until recently (Late June 2012) when I met my very future coworker, nurse and great friend Lyndell Huey. She found me unknowingly (yet totally aware- she told me on day 1 our meeting which was “fate”)  Lyndell found me, and swooped me under her wing and hence led me to my current career at the Assisted Living facility to which I am employed.

I am blessed to say that I feel as though I work with long lost family members… another reason I a blessed. Lyndell came off as mentor for me the day I met her and she has ever since given me impeccable direction in my recent study of my own spiritual growth. In fact, after moving from my house in canton post break up in November, she so graciously and selflessly invited Landyn and myself to spend a weekend away, which I did agree.

It was here I believed I experienced an awakening, as well as unconsciously used the strength of my soul to not only allow healing of my heart but to also steer away very negative energy; which in fact was witnessed by someone else in the house. Only this type of encounter could happen with Lyndell! Not only has she has correctly pointed me in all the right directions in this accelerated course of spiritual growth, but she has unknowingly been a supreme nurturer to my soul.

I know she knows how much I appreciate her, but again I must say: Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Lyndell should feel like she won the Pulitzer prize as author of Molly as Her Highest Self: A Custom Manual on How to Achieve Molly’s Fullest and Purest Spiritual Potential (non-cheesy version for dummies) Featuring bonus insert entitled “Necessary Tools to get the job done” written in perfect third person of Molly language. Best Seller. Winning!

Lyndell had recently told me about an angel store in nearby Cuyahoga Falls called “Vibes.” This shop is run by a lady named blond haired woman named, Jan.

Lyndell had been unable to recall the actual name, and I had been trying my best to find it through Google without success.

Finally after being smart enough to ask for a general location, Jason and I set out on a Friday within the last three weeks to find this mysterious store that had been “calling” for our presence.

We arrived at the “Riverfront” of downtown Cuyahoga Falls and I parked my car near the three teired fountain which brought Jason several memories of being a a child there with his mother. Even though had we been unable to locate the store, the excitement vibrating from him was enough to make this trip worthwhile. We set out looking for the “angel store,” in hopes that one of the little shops would be “the one.”

It was snowing, windy, and cold. We peered in window fronts to see if any of the stores appeared to be our hidden diamond in the rough. I was having enough with the wind as it beat across my face like a rose stem being whipped across my cheeks and decided to start going in the shops to see if anyone could point us in the right direction.

Finally, a small framed lady running a vintage antique shop told us where we may find our “angel store.”

We quickly walked the short distance and entered our destination with such excitement, as well as gratefulness for the warmth (literally and spiritually) that it radiated.

Jan welcomed us saying, “Can I help you or are you stopping to warm up?”

I smiled so largely I felt as though my grin was as wide as my ears and responded for both of us, as we women do, “We have been looking for you for about 2 weeks, we found you!”

Coincidentally…

After marveling at the items and books in her store and spending nearly an hour chatting with her upon the first day Jason and I had came into to her shop, I remember the amazement and excitement on her face when we finally introduced ourselves. She told us that day that she had heard both of our names.

“How so?”

She found it interesting and exciting that she had put thought into the names earlier that day, and now here we were, standing right in front of her. All three of us stood there smiling…

Jason and I visited her store looking for more tools to deepen our connection with the Universe, angels and our guides, as well as in hopes of finding what we needed to further our mission to unblind each of our “third eye.”

****

My biggest mission of the day was stones for Landyn. I had told Landyn when I had dropped him off at daycare, that I planned on taking him to him to his first concert this spring, as I dropped him off at daycare before I went to work… I had no idea that life was about to throw me a curveball…that night I died.

I found out today “Vibes” is closed Mondays, so we weren’t going Monday with or without a car. I decided I needed to pick his stones out for him. I asked Jan and the other lady working what they suggested for a child, describing his kind, gentle nature, which was not in need for anything for behavior as he is naturally is incredibly balanced, well mannered, and incredibly loving. After making my decision she peered in my eyes and said, “I see a lot of writing, a lot of writing,” as she motioned her hand as if she were writing in mid air.

I commented on how bright my son is and how he is greatly advanced in all areas of his first grade studies, as well as student of the month on several occasions, and his constant praise from his teachers. He is SO COOL.

I have always been an excellent writer, in fact I even commented to Jason before we got in the car to come to her store today that I should finally write a book, and I should write it in regards to this experience. My chosen focus was going to be about what it’s like to take the bus since I have never taken the bus before. I decided this after realizing that the Metro Bus stops literally right in front of my house, which is definitely good to know.

I pondered her statement and continued to look around her store, it sure does give off some good “Vibes.”

We walked around the store again marveling at all of the resources available, especially stones, and herbs for cleansing the home. I glanced up at a shelf on the wall at an assortment of shaped stones and raw/cracked open minerals. It was then I remembered that the first/last time I was in I purchased an amethyst ball, which had mysteriously gone missing after showing it to my son two Monday’s ago before giving a ride to Landyn’s friend and mom when he saw them walking to a bus stop near Walmart in Montrose, located on the other side of town.
I felt drawn to offer a ride even though we were just arriving to Walmart when they were leaving. I called his schoolmates name knowing it would catch his mom’s attention, offered her a ride and she thankfully agreed. We immediately left and drove to Chapel Hill, where they were headed, dropped them off and did our shopping at target and Best Buy instead.

I mentioned to Jan while she and her fellow worker unboxed new items (including small pink elephant figurines of which I meant to purchase one and forgot) that I learned amethyst meant “undrunk.” which I found interesting considering that my other amethyst at home continually moves to other rooms without being touched by me. Not only does the meaning seem significant at this point, but I have not seen my amethyst ball since that day in the car. I have looked everywhere imaginable, including my cat’s favorite hiding spots, with no success. I searched my car several times during the week without success either. I am still pretty bummed, it was beautiful, I could feel the beauty when I held it in my hand and rubbed my thumb over its smooth yet imperfect infinite sides. Although I knew I could by one in the store today, it just wasn’t the same. I feel in my soul that it will show up again. I also feel that it was in my car somewhere, keeping me safe: purple is the color of the angels. She smiled and inquired into that meaning for me to which I responded by looking directly at her with my black eye shining like a labradorite stone, “I had an accident Tuesday that I can’t remember and don’t really want to talk about, I just know everything is going to be ok, and somehow this is going to help me evolve and do great things. I want to be able to connect better with my angels and guides to keep me on the right path.”

I turned my back to her and looked at the bin of stones…

So many colors, shapes, meanings and energies. Jan spoke while I scanned the magical pieces of earth telling me how she was impressed, as she had never heard someone speak with such a positive outlook in this type of situation, and she was so glad I was ok.

I turned and thanked her, I mean truly there is no reason to mope, the only thing I can control is my response and reaction, and life is great! “The outcome is going to be based on my outlook,” I replied. Her brows curled into a semi serious form as though she was concentrating, she spoke: “You need to believe in what you feel, and stop second guessing yourself. You are getting the messages, you just aren’t believing in yourself that they are true.” At this moment I felt that “ball in my throat” as my eyes filled rapidly with those salty tears that I had decided were no longer useful. These tears were different

 

And I then experienced a warm chill that ran from my head to my toes over and over, as do the neon lamp “open” signs that sit in storefront windows pulsating for attention.

I feel like my questions to the angels and Universe are commonly answered, yet I often tell myself that I am incorrect, and steer my spiritual automobile in the opposite direction, such as Monday night when I decided I should stay home and get some sleep, but instead decided that watching karaoke sounded like a more entertaining start to my week.

Not only did I ignore my own self, but ignored my cat’s, Captain, nearly aggressive attempts of batting my legs and running in front of me as I left out my front door. I walked to my car not knowing this was the last time I would drive my Pontiac G6 and arrive safely to a destination- a whopping 1/8th mile away.

Jan apologized for making my eyes swell with tears, but I thanked her, as she was exactly right. Jason was standing to her right leafing through a book that had caught his interest, I across from them…

She then told me with the “serious brow” face that my angels were with me that night, to which I agreed, as yet another tear fell from my eye. I wiped my face and took a deep breath raising my head and looking at the ceiling, as another warm tingle came over my face and poured down the front of my body until it reached my toes. My left ear rang just as it would after listening to music far too loud. Jan then informed me that my angels were still with me in this moment, to which I again donated one more tear to the carpet of her sweet little store.